Obsession and Variations

I haven't had a huge programming project since last spring, so I had forgotten the obsession that takes over me when I delve deep into one. From the time I've poured myself my morning coffee to late at night when I realize I've pushed back my bedtime by a couple of hours, I program almost non-stop. I don't want to stop. There's always more to do. More functions to add, or existing functions to embellish. I've skipped some classes, and some meals, and it's strange to see that, for once, I have to force myself to go to the gym (I tell myself it'll refresh my brain for more programming, anyway).

We're in a team of 4 people for this project but so far I'm the only person who has done any work. Early on I tried to get the other members to choose from a list of tasks, when I didn't get any responses I asked one of them what was up, and all he said to me was, "I don't think the other 2 are going to do much work."

If that's the way it has to be, then that's the way it is. I much prefer do it all by myself than rely on lazy people who will do a shitty job. What irritates me is that they might benefit from my work, because I've always found it impossible to report free-riders.

As a benefit to me, while I'm working on this, all my other 'problems' have pretty much ceased to exist. Nothing is as important as what I am working on right now. But that kind of focus does make it hard to sleep without dreaming of algorithms. Last night I resorted to a Neuro-Linguistic Programming exercise found on resetyourbrain.com, something a friend of mine had told me about a few weeks ago when I told him my brain often has a hard time relaxing.

I'm getting restless as I write all this. I have to finish building a 3d robot, setting triggers, finalizing combat, then implementing items. That's the goal for today.