Putting Holes in Happiness

You invite someone out to something you like to do regularly. They almost always decline. You get pissed and start giving this person the cold shoulder. But what you don't realize is that you're inviting this person when it's always convenient for you and never convenient for them. Where's the empathy?

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In the week that just passed I had two blasts from the past.

It was a flashback to 2007 with M. He was still as over-analytical as always. The reason I'd quit our band in the first place. I couldn't take his stressful nature. I let that kind of shit affect me too much. But I know he's been going through self-inflicted hard times. When I e-mailed and he responded with "are you free tonight?" - I figured it would be nice to reconnect. And it was.

My other friend, I've known since I was 15, in the same grouping as two of my closest friends. It means that despite my disapproval of some of his views on life, he gets as close as you can get to a Carte Blanche with me.

I was thinking of writing of the things I wish I could change in some of my friends, but instead I'll go the other route and speak of the very few people who challenge me to become better:

- Marc C. has held me to a new standard for friendship and recently given me a chance to work with him, taking a strong role of mentorship for software development.

- Jon V. was the catalyst to a whole perceptual shift that started in my early 20's. He doesn't even know how much I absorbed our conversations, his advice, I applied it to my life, I researched more of what he talked about. To this day I find him one of the most fascinating people I've ever met.

- Nick (now in China) gave me bass lessons, we played tabletop RP together, we had long discussions about what movie characters we were or deconstructed the story of our favorite RPG video games. Nick, the philosophy professor, I always did feel rather like a student as well as his Buddy. His being in China makes things hard though. While I was there, everything was fantastic. But when I'm home, our lives are separate.

Now I have to go and I think I failed to make a point in this post.

Maybe it's that if I give you the time of day, you should consider yourself special ;)

"I will deliver, you know I'm a forgiver"

And it's so Fucking Obscene, Obscene

I'm back on the musical-obsession wagon! If you didn't know, I go through cycles. I'd say my obsession for May-June was writing roleplaying scenarios for SWTOR. A year ago it was probably, I dunno, working out and getting buff. A little before that for months I obsessed over getting mad culinary skills. 

There are all things I love but I can only -really- obsess about one thing at a time, so this cycling of things happens. I never quit the other stuff entirely, I love all of the stuff I mentioned above, but it becomes less the focal point of my goals.

Guess I'm just super stoked to be going to HeavyMTL and that I've been giving my baby guitar lessons and she's really into it. If she continues with this kind of persistence, she'll be kicking my ass in no time!

I have so much to share with the world, but I feel like my ability to use the mediums I want is my bottleneck... So time to up the daily practice until I sound like Jon fucking Schaffer!

3 Awesomes today

First:
(5:48:07 PM) Sereena Hall: Oh I also meant to tell you I think you're fucking awesome.

Then:

(1:03:55 AM) leolani: you are awesome
(1:03:59 AM) Mia: Shut up!
(1:04:02 AM) Mia: haha
(1:04:03 AM) leolani: you are

And now:
Robert:  pssst you're simply awesome -.^


-

How did this happen? I'm really not entirely sure I did much to deserve it.

"I love you, not as a friend and not as a lover. I love you as a Mia. Seriously, when I categorize the people I know you're in your own separate category. You truly are unlike anyone I have ever known."

People Equal ???

Let me preface this by:

This is an observation, not a criticism.

When you leave your computer unlocked where I work, you risk someone going on your machine and e-mailing the department saying you'll be buying Timbits in the morning. This happened to me yesterday.

But we've been getting Timbits weekly, sometimes several times a week, and so I decided to bake some mini cupcakes instead.

I arrived with exactly 31 cupcakes (after giving some to family members), and 12 full-sized doughnuts, for a total of 43 items.

I got roughly about 10 thank yous. That's a 25% thank you to consumption ratio.

That seems low to me, probably because I'm big on thank yous. But I don't wanna write people off as just being jerks, though that might be the case in some people. I guess some are shy, others just busy and forgetful, some just figure it's not a big enough thing to warrant a thank you, etc.

The longer I live, the more I experience a rainbow of personalities. And I'm often left feeling like "man, I just don't -get- people!"

But I keep trying.

Think hard, think long, of your current circumstances.

Are you the cause of them?

...

Please, have some courtesy, have some sympathy, and some taste.

Here's a little something useless you may not know about me. I have a hard time not drinking my coffee too fast. I want to sit and enjoy it over a long period of time but part of my brain sees it as an unfinished task and works to complete it.

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You ever feel like people aren't listening to you when you're talking?
Don't get pissed, they might be doing you a huge favor without either of you knowing it.

Because you're a babbling moron.


I know this from personal experience.