Goodnight

Confidence is getting a little shaken. Things have gotten extra-challenging with some changes of circumstances.

I was lucky to be one of the few at my friend's get-together last night as she unveiled to us her first video as the new singer of world-renown metal band Arch Enemy. For years she paid her dues, playing in tiny venues, taking showers at truck stops and living in a van with four guys for months on end.

But I could sense this was something she was nervous about. The press release had been made that day and she simply did not want to know how people were reacting to the news.

Because rejection is hard, even when you've become famous.

I went to see 300 Rise of an Empire tonight with my favorite Greekster. The role of Artemisia was entertainingly portrayed by Eva Green and her crazy eyes. She made the movie for me.

But there's something about this characters that makes me think. How does the traumatized little girl channel all her issues so constructively as to become a general to Xerxes' father? I guess she's so brutally efficient at what she does as to make him overlook her obvious insanity. She's like the Persian/Greek version of Steve Jobs or Jeff Bezos.

"No we're never gonna survive unless we get a little crazy"

And this brings me back to my current self-doubt. I feel like I need to take a more unapologetic attitude. I know what I know, and that's no small thing. And anything I don't know, I'll figure out soon enough.

Time is a blade in my side

Invited Nick to join me at a cafe downtown today so we could get constructive together while getting a change of scenery. I mostly finished up my personal page, now it's a question of setting up a server.

Also wrote in the novel and did a ton of discussing with Nick regarding certain archs - now I have a LOT to build on.

We also came up with an idea for a YouTube clip (neither of us has ever made one) - now we just need to write the script and figure out how to shoot it. ("Just need" - even though that's 98% of the work)

Because I've researched a couple of cool-sounding companies outside of Montreal, I now have certain hopes about leaving. I know I'll miss everyone terribly, but aside from enjoying Nick's temporary presence, it just feels like I'm going to stagnate if I stay here.

--

So much to do. I've got a few books to get into on various programming-related topics. I've gotta work on my websocket mmo a lot more, right now it's a shiny mess. I have writing to do, music practice I'd love to get to (but honestly probably won't), cover letters to write...

Force be with you.

"I haven't had this much fun without beer involved in a long time." - Di

Today kicked some serious ass and now I have the dominating will of a fire-breathing dragon to conquer my enemies with.

How am I supposed to sleep now with this injection of fuel?

Tell me, what is it that drives you?

What is the source of your power?

It would not be found in a single ability. You would not be able to hinge your successes simply on the way you speak, the way you code nor a perfect appearance. There is a symphony at play, a harmony between the instruments which allows the whole to succeed. You would do well to think on the parts which you play.

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And now, back to real writing.

Angry, angry!

It's not healthy to hold on to anger but these days I have to because it's my number one motivator.

Don't worry, it's not as bad as it sounds. ;)  I'm just working on a second novel.