It's hard not to take it personally when this sort of shit happens.
You're thinking to yourself, "Finally, things are going my way," and that's when it hits. A major roadblock. Or in this case, a major car crash. Broken ribs, punctured lung, but at least he'll be okay, eventually. That is what's important. But it doesn't change the fact that a singer can't sing for a long time after a punctured lung, and the entire reason I left my baby, my project behind, was so that I could join a band that was complete, that was ready to start playing live and recording. What I'll be getting instead now is rent I can't afford and an incomplete lineup (again). I can't help it, really, after everything that's happened in the last 3 years, but to feel like this is personal. The universe conspires against me.
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So many times I've wanted to apologize to people and say, "I'm terribly sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm very sorry that I'm not in love with you."
I'm feeling guilty these days in particular for getting spoiled. I've made my feelings and intentions clear, I can only hope there's no clinging to false hope going on.
I have to be careful of the lines I cross.
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