Putting Holes in Happiness

You invite someone out to something you like to do regularly. They almost always decline. You get pissed and start giving this person the cold shoulder. But what you don't realize is that you're inviting this person when it's always convenient for you and never convenient for them. Where's the empathy?

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In the week that just passed I had two blasts from the past.

It was a flashback to 2007 with M. He was still as over-analytical as always. The reason I'd quit our band in the first place. I couldn't take his stressful nature. I let that kind of shit affect me too much. But I know he's been going through self-inflicted hard times. When I e-mailed and he responded with "are you free tonight?" - I figured it would be nice to reconnect. And it was.

My other friend, I've known since I was 15, in the same grouping as two of my closest friends. It means that despite my disapproval of some of his views on life, he gets as close as you can get to a Carte Blanche with me.

I was thinking of writing of the things I wish I could change in some of my friends, but instead I'll go the other route and speak of the very few people who challenge me to become better:

- Marc C. has held me to a new standard for friendship and recently given me a chance to work with him, taking a strong role of mentorship for software development.

- Jon V. was the catalyst to a whole perceptual shift that started in my early 20's. He doesn't even know how much I absorbed our conversations, his advice, I applied it to my life, I researched more of what he talked about. To this day I find him one of the most fascinating people I've ever met.

- Nick (now in China) gave me bass lessons, we played tabletop RP together, we had long discussions about what movie characters we were or deconstructed the story of our favorite RPG video games. Nick, the philosophy professor, I always did feel rather like a student as well as his Buddy. His being in China makes things hard though. While I was there, everything was fantastic. But when I'm home, our lives are separate.

Now I have to go and I think I failed to make a point in this post.

Maybe it's that if I give you the time of day, you should consider yourself special ;)

"I will deliver, you know I'm a forgiver"