Pale September

I do a whole lot of thinking but not a whole lot of doing. I'm lazy and undisciplined and I sabotage myself constantly. I like to pretend I know better than everyone else but I fall into the same traps as everyone else. I refuse to sacrifice, to truly sacrifice.

I berate myself a lot after lacks of discipline. I don't know if it's good or bad, but it's how I function. If I told most people about this, they'd call me crazy. They'd say I'm too hard on myself. They're idiots.

There's this illusion of safety people have where 1. they will never lose what they have and 2. things will 'work themselves out' in the end.

It's generally true that if you keep doing what you're doing you'll keep getting what you're getting. If that works for you, then great.

I'm in need of something different.